


Is This Seat Taken?

by my_mad_fatuation



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M, Inspired by Real Events
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 16:34:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12486020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_mad_fatuation/pseuds/my_mad_fatuation
Summary: Rae is not impressed when she has to share a seating area with Finn in her Philosophy class.





	Is This Seat Taken?

Rae was mortified when she got to her first Philosophy class of the year and found that the desks were grouped together in clusters of four, facing each other. That meant that someone was going to have to sit directly across from her and see her face every goddamn day. She felt sorry for whoever had that fate as she picked out a seat in an empty cluster. If she was lucky, no one would want to sit near her and she’d have a cluster all to herself. Wouldn’t that be nice?

“Rae, hi!”

She looked up to see Chloe walking towards her. Chloe had been her best friend when they were younger, though they had sort of drifted apart over the years.

“Hey, Chloe,” said Rae.

“Is this seat taken?” Chloe asked, pointing to the seat next to Rae.

“No, it’s all yours, if you want it.”

Chloe set her bag on the desk and pulled out her notebook and pencil case as the room began to fill up. Pretty soon the only spots left were the ones across from Rae and Chloe, so Rae prayed that no one else was going to show up.

“Oh my god, Rae,” Chloe whispered, tapping Rae on the shoulder. “Look who just walked in!”

Rae lifted her head and looked towards the classroom doorway where a boy had just entered. He was wearing a Henley with the sleeves rolled up and a plaid flannel shirt tied around his waist. He was, quite possibly, the most stunning specimen Rae had ever seen.

“Who is that?” she asked Chloe quietly as the boy scanned the room for an empty seat.

“That’s Finn Nelson,” said Chloe. “He’s a second-year.”

“What’s he doin’ here, then?”

Chloe shrugged just as the boy approached their cluster of tables.

“Are these seats taken?” he asked them, placing a hand on the back of the chair across from Chloe.

“No, go right ahead,” she replied with a flirtatious smile.

He dropped his bag onto the table before pulling out the chair across from Rae and sitting down. He rummaged through his bag to get out his notebook and slapped it onto his desk with an unnecessary flourish.

He opened his bag wider and looked inside. “Fuck,” he grumbled under his breath. “Have either of you got a pen I could borrow?” he asked loudly, without looking at either of the girls.

“Yeah, of course,” said Chloe, unzipping her pencil case to reveal a rainbow assortment of pens. “What colour?”

He looked at her and sort of grimaced. “Whatever,” he said.

She handed him a black pen and he muttered, “Cheers,” in response. He clicked it open and closed a few times and then twirled it between his fingers.

Rae didn’t realize she was watching him this whole time until he looked at her disapprovingly. She quickly turned her attention to the first thing that caught her eye: another boy.

This one was wearing a striped t-shirt and thick-rimmed glasses. Another stunner. He approached their little cluster and stopped at the desk next to Finn.

“Is this seat taken?” he asked, looking at Finn.

“Oh, hey, Arch,” Finn said to him, smiling for the first time since he got there. “No, go ahead.” He moved his bag off the desk and let his friend sit down.

“What are you doin’ here?” he asked once his friend was seated.

“I’m in this class.”

“Yeah, I figured, but didn’t you take it last year?”

The friend shook his head. “Wouldn’t fit in my schedule last year. What about you?”

“Heh, I did take it but I didn’t quite, er, pass it last year,” said Finn.

His friend laughed a little.

“You two are both in second year?” Chloe asked them.

“Yeah,” said Finn’s friend. “I’m Archie, by the way.”

“Chloe,” she replied.

He turned his attention to Rae and looked at her expectantly, but she didn’t notice right away because she was still watching Finn. It wasn’t until he looked at her, too, that she realized they were waiting for her to introduce herself.

“Oh, er, Rae,” she said. “I’m Rae.”

“As in Raymond?” Finn asked with a smirk.

“As in Rachel,” she replied bitterly.

He flicked his eyebrows up and looked away like he didn’t care.

“This is Finn, by the way,” said Archie, putting a hand on Finn’s shoulder. “Since he’s too rude to introduce himself.”

Finn wobbled his head and flapped his mouth like he was mocking Archie, which made Archie laugh.

 _Well, good,_ Rae thought to herself sarcastically. _I get to spend the term sitting across from a pair of pricks._

***

As it turned out, Rae’s initial assessment of the boys was unfair. Archie was actually a really cool guy, outgoing and funny, and talked to the girls often, even Rae.

Finn, on the other hand, spent the first two weeks of class scowling all the time. And he still hadn’t returned Chloe’s pen. In fact, he had taken to chewing on the end of it absent-mindedly as the teacher talked, so Chloe probably didn’t want it back anyway.

Rae noticed that he stopped chewing on the pen and turned to face her when the teacher said, “Look at the person across from you.” Rae already was, which was a little embarrassing for her.

“He or she is going to be your partner on this next assignment,” the teacher continued.

Rae let out an audible groan and rolled her eyes, and Finn slouched back in his chair like a petulant child.

“So,” she said to him as they started packing up their stuff at the end of class. “Should we meet at the library after school?”

“Why?” he scoffed.

“For the project,” she said. “It’s due Friday.”

“Then we’ve got two days, and that’s two more days than I need to get it done,” he said.

“I’m starting to see why you didn’t pass last year,” she grumbled. “But unlike you, I give a shit about my grade, so we’re meeting at the library after classes. End of.”

“You’re really bossy, aren’t you?”

She exhaled impatiently and picked up her bag, slinging it over her shoulder. “See you then.”

***

“You had to pick a table by the window?” Finn asked as he dropped his bag on the table, right in front of Rae, startling her.

“Why does it matter?” she said irritably.

He sat down in the chair across from her. “I find windows distracting,” he said in a serious manner.

“Oh,” she replied, softening her tone. “Well, we can move if it’ll help—”

“But I just sat down!”

“Oh my god, make up your mind!”

He smiled smugly at her. “This is fine,” he said. He pushed his bag off the side of the table and leaned forward on his elbows. “So,” he added, “what are we doing here?”

“We’re working on the assignment,” she said, like it should have been obvious.

“Yes, but what’s the plan, exactly?” he asked. “You must have it all worked out, Miss Smartypants.” He wasn’t giving her the same look of condescension he usually did, as though his teasing this time was intended to be good-natured.

“Well, did you read the chapter of the textbook yet?” she said.

“If I said, ‘yes,’ would you believe me?”

“Not particularly.”

He smiled in a way that made her unsure whether he was laughing at her or with her.

“Here are my notes about the chapter,” she added, turning over her notebook to him. “Read over them to get an idea of what we’re talking about while I go find some supplementary material to beef up our presentation.”

“Aye aye, Captain,” he said with a salute.

***

Rae returned to the table with a couple books only to find Finn staring out the window, chewing on his (Chloe’s) pen.

“Did you read it?” she asked as she set the books on the table with a thud.

“Oh, er, yeah,” he said, handing the notebook back to her.

When she took it from him and sat down, she noticed he’d added something to the margin: a doodle of a stick figure blowing its brains out with some sort of rudimentary handgun.

“That’s mature,” she said.

He chuckled a little. “I was just sharing my own insights into the reading.”

She rolled her eyes as she tried not to smile.

***

On Friday, Rae and Finn did their presentation on the chapter that was assigned to them, and ended up getting a 4.5 out of 5 as their grade.

“That,” Finn said to Rae, reaching across his desk to tap hers with his fingertips as she started packing up her bag, “is the best fucking grade I’ve ever got on an assignment.”

“Congrats,” she replied disinterestedly. It was pretty par for the course for her.

“Rae,” he added with a more serious tone. “Thank you.”

She was a little surprised by his sincerity. “For what?” she asked.

“For your anal-retentive study habits, Miss Smartypants” he replied, smirking.

“Oh, har har, Mr. Shitty-Grades,” she said, which made him laugh.

His laughter seemed so genuine that it caught her off-guard and she laughed a little, too.

He stood up and shrugged his bag onto one shoulder before adding, “Laters,” and headed out.

“Yeah,” she said, but he was almost gone. “Laters.”

***

“Rae-Rae!”

Rae had just started to turn around at the sound of her name when she felt someone shove her in the back. “Oi!” she said, knowing full well who would do such a thing.

Finn fell into step beside her, laughing, as she kept walking towards their classroom. “Good morning to you, too,” he said.

“It was until you showed up,” she said, nudging him in the arm with her elbow.

He used his arm to nudge her back so hard she had to hold onto him to keep from falling over.

“Quit being a dickhead,” she said, laughing.

“You’re the dickhead,” he replied, also laughing.

“No, you.”

“No, you.”

“No—”

“Rae,” he said seriously as he stopped walking, and stopped her as well.

She didn’t know what was happening, but she liked that he was still holding her arm. “What is it?” she asked.

He smirked. “You’re the dickhead.”

***

“Raaaae! Telephone!” said Rae’s mum, hollering up at her from downstairs.

Rae picked up the receiver of the phone on her desk and called back, “Got it!”

She waited until she heard the click that her mum had hung up before saying hi, figuring it would be her friend Tix calling.

“Hey, Rae-Rae,” said the voice on the other end.

“Finn?” she asked incredulously. “What are you—How did you get my number?”

He chuckled a little. “This is the third Earl household I’ve called tonight,” he said. “I just have a question about the homework for Philosophy.”

“And you couldn’t ask Archie?” she said, still horribly confused by the situation.

“I tried,” he said. “He’s not home right now.”

“Oh, good, well, as long as I’m your last resort,” she said sarcastically.

“Always.”

“Fine, what’s your question?”

“Which pages are we supposed to read tonight?” he asked.

“Seriously?”

“What?”

“You called three random houses just to find out what pages it is?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m surprised you’re even doing your homework,” she said.

“Well, thanks to you I’ve tasted the sweet nectar of success and I actually want to pass this term,” he said.

“That’s a noble, goal, I suppose. Anyway, it’s pages 87 to 104.”

“That many?”

“It’s less than twenty pages, Finn.”

He sighed. “Yeah, alright.”

“Alright, so…” she said, figuring it was time to hang up now.

“So,” he echoed. “What are you up to?”

“What, now?”

“Yeah, now,” he said with a mocking laugh.

“If you must know, I was doing other homework when you called,” she said.

“Wow, party life over there, huh?”

“You’re the one who called me, remember?”

“And clearly it’s the highlight of your evening,” he said.

“Clearly.”

“Well, Miss Smartypants, I will let you get back to your homework,” he added after a moment.

“Goodbye, Mr. Shitty-Grades.”

***

“Okay,” Rae said, carrying the base of her telephone over to her bed so she could sit on it while she cradled the receiver between her ear and shoulder. “But would you rather eat a thousand bees or be stung by a thousand bees?”

“What?” Finn said with a laugh on the other end of the line. “That is just stupid.”

“Of course it is,” she replied. “So which is it, Mister?”

“I feel like if I tried to eat a thousand bees, I would get stung by most of them anyway,” he said slowly, like he was considering his answer. “So I’d rather just get stung than get stung and also have to eat bees.”

“Hmm. Good point.”

“Anyway, I’d better get going,” he added after falling silent for a minute. “Later, Rae-Rae.”

“Oh, er, later, then,” she replied, a little surprised by how abruptly their conversation ended.

 _Click_.

***

“I’m gonna be honest with you, Rae-Rae,” Finn said as he clicked the pen that Chloe had given him at the beginning of the term. “I have never brought my own pen to school.”

“What?” said Rae.

“I just find some girl with a ton of pens and borrow one indefinitely until I lose it,” he said.

She glanced over at the empty seats next to them—both Archie and Chloe were home with a cold that had been going around. “Why a girl, though?” she asked when she turned her attention back to him.

He shrugged. “They usually have lots of pens.”

“That is so sexist.”

“How is that sexist?” he said with a laugh. “It’s just an observation.”

“It’s a generalization,” she said.

“Not a harmful one.”

“Ugh. That’s not the point—”

“Are you jealous, Rae-Rae?”

She frowned at him. “Jealous of what?”

“That I’m using Chloe’s pen instead of yours,” he said, twirling the pen between his fingers and smiling with his tongue pressed against his teeth.

“Oh, yeah,” she said as she rolled her eyes. “I really wish you’d chew the crap out of the end of one of my pens instead. That would really make me feel special.”

He laughed before biting down on the pen once again, still smirking.

“You’re a pig,” she added, pretending she wasn’t slightly amused.

“You love it,” he said.

She felt like she was blushing, so she looked down at the notebook open in front of her and propped up her head with her hand to block some of her face from him. “Dickhead,” she muttered.

“You’re the dickhead.”

***

“Never heard of ‘em,” Finn said over the phone after Rae had asked him if he was into her favourite local band.

“They sound a bit like Oasis meets Suede,” she said, though that was kind of a stretch. She was trying to name bands she knew he was into in order to convince him to go to one of their shows with her.

“Alright,” he said. “That sounds pretty cool.”

“Yeah, they are pretty cool,” she said. “Anyway, they’re playing a show ‘round here next week and I really want to go.”

“You should, then.”

“Yeah, but none of my friends can go with me.”

“Oh. That’s a shame.”

“Yeah…”

“You could try going by yourself, though,” he said after a thoughtful pause.

“Yeah, I suppose I could…” she began nervously. “Or, I mean, if you’re not doing anything next Friday, you could come along, maybe…”

“Why would you want me to come along?” he asked with a condescending laugh.

“Just so I’d, you know, have a friend there, right?” she said, though she was starting to panic that this wasn’t going to work. He was just so dense sometimes!

“I don’t know about that,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t want me to come with you.”

“I do, though.”

“Why?”

“Be—Because,” she stammered. She was going to have to come right out and say it, wasn’t she? “Because I like you!”

She waited several seconds before there was a response.

“Well, yeah,” he said, without a hint of irony. “That was pretty obvious.”

“What?”

“I could tell from day one that you liked me.”

Rae felt like she was going to be sick. “First of all,” she said, clenching her hand into a fist, “when we first met, I totally hated you for weeks.”

“Sure.”

“And second, you could be less rude about it!” she continued.

“Sorry,” he said insincerely.

“Well—I mean—What—Where does that leave us?” she asked.

“What d’you mean?”

“Are we still friends?”

“We’re… classmates.”

“What?” She could feel herself on the verge of tears.

“Anyway, I’ve gotta go.” He hung up without even saying, “Laters.”

***

The final few weeks of the term were pretty brutal for Rae. Having to sit across from Finn in Philosophy, when he wouldn’t talk to her. He wouldn’t even look at her. It just made her angry, really.

How could he have acted like he liked her—at least in a friendly way—and then humiliate her like that?

But the new term came eventually, and she didn’t have any classes with him. She would occasionally see him in the corridors, but soon she learned his routes between classes and skillfully avoided them. She could go weeks without accidentally spotting him around college, and in those weeks she felt a little better.

Of course, every sighting was like a huge stabbing pain in her gut, so she was relieved when the end of the year came and she knew she’d never have to see him again.

***

“Is this seat taken?”

“No, go ahead,” said Rae without looking up from the book she was reading.

Someone sat down in the seat across from her on the train, but she still didn’t look at them until they said, “Rae?”

It felt like someone had dumped ice cubes down her back. She looked up in disbelief and saw him. “Finn?” she asked, like she doubted it was really him.

He smiled at her. “Yeah, hi. Wow,” he said. “It’s been, what, ten years since I saw you?”

“Er, something like that,” she replied, looking around to make sure this wasn’t some sort of huge prank.

“So, what’ve you been up to?” he asked as he settled into his seat.

“In the past ten years?”

“Yeah.”

“Not much,” she said.

He must have sensed her bitterness, because his smile faded. “I, er, I should probably apologize, shouldn’t I?”

“For what?” she said, feigning ignorance as she returned her attention to her book but didn’t actually read it.

“I was kind of, er, rude… during our last conversation.”

“Oh, I don’t even remember that,” she lied.

“Yeah, well, I was a complete dickhead,” he continued. “And I don’t have any excuse except that I was a dickhead. So, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, really,” she said. “I was being stupid, so…”

“You were not stupid, Rae. You were the smartest person I’ve ever met.”

“Sure.”

“I mean it,” he said. “It was intimidating, honestly.”

She looked back at him curiously. “Intimidating?”

“Well, yeah, that’s why I—I was too scared to tell you…” he said.

“Tell me what?”

“Tell you that—That I liked you, too, I s’pose.” He scratched the side of his face nervously. “I mean, I thought if you got too close to me you’d realize what an idiot I really was…”

“You… liked me?” she asked. “Like, as a friend…?”

“Yeah, but, I mean, I wanted to be, well, more than friends, I just… I was scared, you know?”

“You were scared?” she said angrily. “I was fucking terrified when I told you how I felt, and you just took a dump all over it.”

“I know, Rae, believe me, I’m not proud of that moment,” he said. “That’s why I avoided you after that. I couldn’t face what I had done to you. But really, I am sorry.”

She exhaled slowly to calm herself. “Fine. Apology accepted,” she said before opening her book again.

“You’re still so surly,” he muttered. “I feel sorry for your boyfriend…”

“I don’t even have a boyfriend,” she replied grumpily, turning the page without having read it.

“Really?”

She looked up and saw him with that typical Finn Nelson smirk. “Yeah, so?”

“It’s just interesting, is all…” He bit his bottom lip like he was trying to reign in the smirk, but it just made it worse.

“You think it’s funny that I’m single?”

“No, I think it’s fortuitous.”

“What?”

He leaned forward with his elbows on the table between them and closed her book. “Do you want to get a drink with me when we get to Stamford?”

“Are you—Are you seriously asking me out right now?”

He raised his eyebrows as if to say, “Maybe I am.”

“I don’t go out with dickheads,” she said. “Anymore.”

“You’re the dickhead,” he said with a smile.

She surprised herself with a laugh. “You cheeky bastard.”

“Come on,” he added, still smiling. “One drink and I’ll leave you alone forever.”

“After everything you’ve done,” she said, “you owe me two.”

“Deal.”

“Oh, and Finn?”

“Yeah.”

She smiled at him for the first time in ten years. “You’re the dickhead.”


End file.
